chloe + isabel
chloe + isabel (clipped to polyvore.com)
chloe + isabel
chloe + isabel (clipped to polyvore.com)
Going to town
Multi-tasking
So I am so new to blogging, I cant get my pictures where I want them, but for now, this is how God sees us, the finished product, and below how we see ourselves….even a lesson from my lack of knowledge of this blogging machine, and I must go to bed!!!!
after, all ready to relax and be ready for Lord to move me to action
Multitasking, this is a new word we often hear daily. We use it to justify all the work we are doing or trying to do or hope to do. We think the more we can accomplish while doing something else the more we can get done and then somehow find the perfect place of rest. A recent study I heard on PBR ( not pabst blue ribbon, for those of you who care to know), showed that multitasking is actually a detriment to getting work done and getting it done well. Well, regardless of the study….”Hi, I am Amy and I am an addicted multitasker”, “hi Amy”!
Case in point, take a look at this photo. This is what has been building up over the last few months. In this room, lets call it my office, are all the wonderful things I am working on. Mind you they are all great things and fun and exciting and profitable for my heart, soul and mind. Lets see: There is the jewelry I am making, just made my dear friend my first piece of turquoise and antler pendants along with coin charms we bought at the flea market together….of course I have about 25 more to make; then there are the horse beaded horse shoes I make, there is the bible study I am starting to write and all the books I need to study, there are bags of boots and chaps and breeches from the last race that need to be put away, Christmas presents, pillows to remake the guest room, a wonderful piece of art my daughter had made for me waiting for the perfect frame, burlap projects for the front porch and thanksgiving, pictures that need to be scanned and stored. I could go on. You see I am working on all this a bit at a time, not to mention the beach house management, the new jewelry line I am selling ( Chloe and Isabel) and the subdivision I have under contract to build houses on, which closes this month if all goes well. All of this is good stuff, I could prioritize, but still I would want to dabble here and there and never get any of it done.
This is how so many of us Christ followers behave. We have so much going on we give a little here , a little there and soon our spiritual souls look like my room. Filled with so much we get overwhelmed and just stop doing any of it. We often think we must use out gifts, if we even know what they are, or figure out what to do in order to help all the while keeping the family functioning at home and of course smoothly. Paul said they gave of themselves. That is an easy order to follow. Just give what you have. You have a word of encouragement, say it, you have time to meet for coffee, get to it, want to write a letter, send it. Do people keep coming up and telling you what you are good at?, well listen to them and take it as from the Lord. If you have several encounters over and over again about what they think you are good at , or they could see you doing that, I would OPEN YOUR EARS!! Sometimes we pray that God would show us what He wants us to do. We look for signs and open doors. Paul never had an open door, he had a mandate to preach the gospel and he just went to work regardless of a door being opened or closed. Has somehow told you lately that your kindness helped them get through something, or that they really appreciate the time you take out of your day to help them and it saved them?, or what about your skills? what do you love to do? What do you do? If you have something that you love and it happens to you weekly or daily that is your gift, it is using yourself. I have been asked at least 17 times ( not exaggerating) in two weeks if I give horseback riding lessons. I am praying hard about that, that has never happened before. I have been asked by at least 12 people on different days and people who do not know each other, but they all have asked if I would write a study on the Feasts of the Lord and the Wedding of the Lamb. I am serious, this is just happening, almost everyday. But when I look at my room I realize that if it stays this way I will have no time to pursue what God is calling me to do. It is time to clean house. Get it in order so that I am available to not only hear God, but be ready with my shoes on and my staff in my hand. So I encourage you, multitask away, as a mother, a wife, a working women or student which many of you are some of the above, you have become proficient at doing many things all at once. After all God created us to be adaptable and malleable to be a suitable “helpmeet” so we are gifted in this area. So I think of it as our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. We can take on too much and let it get away from the main objective. That is to show the love of Christ to those who are perishing. Please don’t get hung up on the “gifts”, I pray this very week you will hear the voice of God through others sharing snippets of what you are good at. Please don’t ignore them or shrug them off like we women are so prone to do. Think about it, if you hear it more than once take note, if it comes up three times I honestly believe it is from the Lord. But test the spirits, always see if what you hear lines up with scripture, and if it does MOVE AHEAD.
Your sister in Christ, Amy
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All my projects in their glory[/caption]
one month
Time is something that we really can’t measure. Oh sure we try, there are minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. We even break it down to milliseconds and then try to grasp the infinite, but at it’s core we can’t really tell time. We just live daily and look forward and back and try to plan and re-group and move ahead.
I have a one month time appointment. You see one month ago I walked into a new meeting with my son, and a new doctor, ( assigned to us) to help manage some medication for an unknown and mystical ailment he has been dealing with. Of course if you have never had the chance to navigate the unchartered waters of the mental health world you would not understand that there is no answer, no cure or consistency when dealing with issues of the mind and often there is no “diagnosis” either. We just know we have to go once a month for a check up and do all we can to avoid another hospital stay. We went expecting to try something new, something that would help and not hinder in this field of “lets try this” or “lets mix this”, or “here is a new one”, but this time we had a total unexpected event. The new MD, Psychiatrist, simply looked across his desk and told my son nothing was wrong. He declared he was fine and didn’t need to come back at all. After I physically shut my jaw that had hit the floor and stopped the lump in my throat from breaking free, I asked what exactly what did he mean? I told him that he was required by the law to come for the next year, once a month, and that, we would in fact be coming back. He stuck to his guns and said nothing was wrong and to stop all medications, within 4 days or so. That sent alarms running through my brain, I knew you couldn’t just stop meds without weaning down from them, luckily I had done just that the previous 10 days as I thought his meds were, in fact, making him worse. But this? Stop everything and move on as if this was just a blip on the screen of his life? My son looked at me and said ” I told you nothing was wrong with me” so he stopped all meds that day. It was all I could do not to come unglued and panic as I thought he would be back in the hospital and having to endure so much more pain and anguish; I remained stoic and nodded.
So, one month is upon us tomorrow. All is stable, no real issues with withdrawal and absolutely no symptoms manifesting as they had in the past two years. So, of course I was determined to find another doctor and get someone who could help my son; I mean there is no way this “assigned” “cheap” psychiatrist could be right, and then I took a breath. I mean, we had been praying about this, interceding on his behalf, believing for a miracle and when I heard the words that he was fine I simply dismissed them. I set my mind against this doctor and waited to be proved right, after all my son has had two years of darkness and unworldly behavior, he couldn’t just be “fine” now could he? We had been dealing with things that one only sees in the movies and now “there is nothing wrong with him?”; I have seen too much wrong to believe
So I made a conscious decision to believe. After all, I ask my gals in bible study to trust and believe and here I was an unbeliever in the face of praying and asking God to heal my son. I felt a bit weird confessing to the group that I was going to believe the doctor and go along with diagnosis that he was fine. That he had endured a hard couple of years and was labeled by the first doctor and then all the other doctors followed suite. I knew enough that he had been under spiritual attack and my husband and I had even felt the real presence of evil in our home. But none the less, I chose to believe. I chose to believe in the power of prayer. I chose to believe that he is healed and even if he is not, I will still choose that the God of the universe will protect and keep him and for hope, but I DO BELIEVE. It sounds unlikely I know, I have talked to many people who would think I was in denial, they would try and talk me out of believing due to past behaviors, but I am choosing to brush them aside, I BELIEVE,
When was the last time you asked God for an answer to prayer and when you got one you simply denied it? I thought it would look different, that it would be harder and not so clear! So this doctor says my son in is fine, Okay, I believe and give thanks to God. Even with all that I declare, I am still struggling to not type an addendum; to say” please don’t judge me as a fool if I am wrong” and don’t mock me wanting to believe But in the end I know I follow the God of the universe, and He says I can go to him and ask for wisdom and to ask without wavering; so today and tomorrow and the next day I will choose to believe my son is better, he is really better, so I will say again I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE, do you?
Following the Path
Nite and me at the Yellowhammer ride. Our first first place ride together.
Sometimes we go through life looking for signs. We search in the bible, we pray, we ask others and we even do silly things like ask God to sky write it in the clouds, or open a door that seems impossible to open; we want a sign, an answer that we are indeed on the right path. Recently I was called to ride ( I would say blessed or fortunate, but I am starting to believe God calls us to every situation even the ordinary or mundane), my new horse Nite in a 25 mile race and then Promise in a 50 mile race the next day. So many obstacles were in the way just to get there I felt I may never arrive. But arrive we did and got to work setting up camp, vetting in and preparing our game plan for the next few days. Torrential rains poured through out the morning the race was delayed for a couple of hours. We started strong and Nite and I raced to a first place finish, it was a delightful joy to cross that line and have a horse full of energy and elation at my first time to win first place.
But the Lord had a plan for me the next day, the Day of Atonement for the ancient Jewish Nation, The Day of the Lord for future thoughts and discourse, but I digress. I took off in the lead for the first loop; as I came in guns blazing, I had a great sound vet check and waited the 50 minutes to head back out. Promise, without a horse ahead and one behind him, slowed to an average 7.5 mph, not lightening speed, but decent for a wet single track through the woods. I was on the green and white loop, which consisted of white ribbons with green polka dots, not exactly shinning beacons of color or obvious in the dense forest of autumns shifting colors. The person who had marked this particular trail, unknown to them had set the course for a wonderful and Godly message not only for me, but for the ladies in my bible studies I would be teaching. These ribbons were placed just far enough apart that as you trotted or cantered along you began to wonder if you had missed a turn, even though there wasn’t an obvious turn anywhere in sight. Then moment would come that I had to consider if I did indeed miss an obscure turn and should I turn around, and then BAM, a ribbon would appear. I would thank the Lord, continue my pace and sing and pray during this most High Holy Day unto the Lord, yes a joyful noise for sure, crazy and made up songs, but joyful according to His word. Soon this pattern of ribbons just beyond what I could handle would appear in the nick of time reminding me that indeed I was on the right path. Soon a very determined rider caught up with me and judging by the look in her eyes and the fact she didn’t stop to water her horse in the majestic creek I was in, gave me pause to consider that she was serious about winning. I came out of the creek and started up the trail and she immediately passed me and took off with lightening speed. Well, Promise would have none of that and he kicked it into high gear and we galloped the next 10 slick and sloppy miles along single track with great speed. Ribbons were still sparse and I was still aware that I was riding by faith and just when I began to doubt the ribbon would appear bolstering my faith and confidence. She had missed two ribbons due to her speed and I hollered “hey”, turn here and soon she relaxed and we began to talk and enjoy the ride. At vet check after a fast 20 miles we checked out well, but my faithful friend did not want to eat or drink. I began the task of forcing him to eat grass and drink from a plunging tube and water bottle. I knew without eating or drinking on his own we wouldn’t pass the final vet inspection regardless of how well he trotted out. Off again in first we took off for the final loop. She passed us again and now it was 12 miles of full gallop. This was not what I had planned. My mentor’s ever-present voice bid me , “don’t get caught up in someone else’s race” kept a steady cadence in my heart. Soon two more fast women came upon us and the four of us went flying through the Talladega national forest. This was the white loop and I realized I was not watching ribbons anymore, we were going too fast, I was simply following them. I was no longer trusting the Lord ( ribbons) to follow the way set before me, but I was caught up with others as they went about their intense pace to finish the race. My horse was keeping up well but I knew this was not best for him. I couldn’t stop him well as I had shifted to a hackamore ( a bit-less bridle I can usually use on the last loop). I had to stop and get off their game plan. Promise wouldn’t drink at the water stops with their horses, he only wanted to be in the lead. That was the final straw, I had to make a change, get back to what I was called to do with the horse I was on and what I had come to do; and that was finish with 50 more miles under my belt. I got off in a creek, filled my water bottle forced him to drink two of them, forced green grass into his mouth and waited. I knew I wasn’t going to race them off and would be fourth no matter what, but if my horse didn’t pass I would be out and this day would result in a pull full of tears and regret. After I remounted, Promise knew they were up ahead and his pace quickened. I watched for the white ribbons and once again they came in the nick of time as I began to doubt I was on the right path yet again. I am a slow learner when it comes to faith. At the next creek I got off again and went through the force water and grass routine, he began to eat and drink on his own and knew I had done what I needed to do for him and that we would finish. My faith welled up inside me and I trusted the Lord for the rest. We finished 4th and had an impressive 50 mile race time. The girl who won, was showered with flowers and ribbons, but she carried with her a broken finger, bruised ribs and a mild concussion. In their speed the three riders were vying for position when the first place rider hit a tree and was catapulted 20 feet injuring herself. She is a tough cookie, remounted told her friends who had stopped to check on her she was fine, jumped on and out ran them to the finish line. I was so glad not to be near that accident, and overjoyed to be fourth.
But I was so much more excited about the Lord teaching me about the journey and the ribbons and my faith. Having that lesson and knowing I would be able to share this was the real prize. I knew several people who were at a crossroads of sorts in life, going along a path and wondering if they were on the right path. I could assure them that soon a ribbon would appear and confirm they were also on the right path. The word says that we plan our course, but it is the Lord that determines our steps. Proverbs’ 16:9. I learned that as we journey there are markers, and these markers are just beyond where you can see them. They are around the corner of Faith and trust. Many people simply think they have missed them and turn around, sometimes they get lost doing this, other times they lose out as others pass them by, some even doubt there is a ribbon up head and they lose faith. But…there is a ribbon ahead, you just must trust the Lord. Believing in Jesus is about leaning your entire personality onto Him, trusting Him with everything and believing. It is our obedience to believe. We get confused and think we should be “doing” things to obey the Lord, not so, we are to BELIEVE! The actions come later in our belief. TO BELIEVE, TO KNOW AND BELIEVE increases our faith, it allows us to pray with out doubt, being double minded. It allows us to trust God. Doubt would always creep in minutes before I would see the ribbon and then I would be so thankful and glad I would rejoice, but within a few miles I would wonder all over again if I had missed it, but then there it was.
Now we obviously don’t get real ribbons in life, but we do get His word, spoken in the right season, we get friends who encourage us and assure us of our faith, they tell us that “they know we are loved and that God has chosen us”, we hear a song on the radio, a scripture from a radio show or TV show and sometimes just nature declares His glory and we hear that still quiet voice and we know we are on the right path. When I was racing too fast and following others I forgot the ribbons for my race- another valuble lesson. I have followed many, got caught up in their journey, jealous and confused about what they had and what I didn’t . But my directions were right there, I just didn’t see them because I was too close to another wanting to follow them and not my own path. You see, even on the same trail, with the same ribbons, we have a different plan. God can handle all of that and we don’t have to fret about it at all. When I thought I would not vet in, that I had pushed it too far, ruined it…..I declared NO! I knew that I knew I would finish, I refused to let doubt get in; I reminded myself I don’t believe in fate or “bad luck”, but faith in God and what He was teaching me. I didn’t think of what could happen, but only saying in advance thank you for the finish, because I trusted the Lord to bring me ALL the way through. He did. I was so encouraged I shared with both my bible study groups and told them that their ribbons were out there. But to watch for that ribbon, to believe it was right around the next bend, the next corner, the next tree, that is faith, and that is where you get to be a part of a miracle that God has in store for you. Is Your marriage falling apart and you want to quit? There is a ribbon ahead, wait for it while moving a head on that path, Is your diagnosis is bleak, wait for that confirmation ribbon that comes right when you need it, and not a moment to soon. As our faith grows I believe our ribbons are spaced out even farther to stretch us and make us grow more in the Lord, trusting and riding by faith and not by sight. We want a “sign”, Jesus said there would be no sign except that of Jonah, ( three days and nights in the fish) to represent His resurrection. The people wanted skywriting, a casting of lots, a prophet to lay hands on them, a medium to tell them the future…..all things He said to stay away from and yet we seek those I want to encourage you that I have been on that path, I have doubted, even stopped and wondered should I turn back, investigate a trail that looked like another way….I am hear to tell you. Keep on keeping on, your ribbon is right up there, God can see it, He is just waiting for you to get there so He can reveal HIs glory to you and reassure you that He loves you and that He is right there with you. On days I couldn’t, another rider would come along side me to reassure me, on days when you can’t, He sends me to ride with you and confirm the ribbons. What a great and mighty God to show us truths in our everyday life, our hobbies, our jobs, our families. He has set the paths up, go to the ride meeting and get your map and find out what direction to start….church and His word, it’s all there. we are in this together. so blast the magnificent seven music and get ready to ride the path of His word and have the ride of your life
Your sister in Christ
Amy
Seasons of friendships
I love seasons. It is one of the reasons upstate South Carolina is so precious to me. I eagerly await each season and watch for the signs. I have, however, found I am not so good at reading the seasons in friendships. My naivety has been a recent downfall in the loss of a deep relationship that I never thought I would lose; as a matter of fact I was so certain of this I presumed that this person would over see my eventual funeral. She held deep secrets for me, had an air of non judgement, and I was able to release a deep seated lack of trust in human life with her. Life happens, moves happen and I grieve this change in season.
Seasons happen in all aspects of life. Not only do we use them as guides to plant and harvest, but to raise our families and work and retire. Friendships, it seems, are no different. It’s not that we are disgruntled or have division or strife, but simply that God places people in our lives for a time and then he occasionally and abruptly alters the season. The problem happens when we don’t realize what is going on. You see friendships run deep and have convoluted twists and turns that bind them to our souls and become visible scars when they ripped from our lives. We don’t see them as passing blessings and we hold onto them thinking they will fulfill our hearts here on earth. They become part of our daily life intertwined into family and events. Even when you recognize that God is doing a work and a change you fight hard to hold onto that which you thought was yours. Emotions run deep, even for this author who holds her pain deep within, which sometimes gives the idea that she is not entrenched as deeply in the friendship. A wrong conclusion for sure as my pain in this is overwhelming. Yes I must move on, and yes others have taken my place; God is using others for a new season not only for me but for her as well. It doesn’t lessen the pain however. But trusting my God allows for me to know that He is at work in the people we both touch outside of our own friendship.
My hope is that I will not retreat to my comfort of cynicism or bitterness to my loss. That forgiveness will trump jealousy and pain and I will enjoy what God has in store for me. As I remind myself it is about His glory and not my happiness. Recently a famous pastor ‘s wife told 40,000 people in their congregation that is wasn’t about God, but about us That God is happy when we are happy, so worship God to make yourself happy. It was a shocking statement to say the least; and completely contrary to scripture. God is pleased when I surrender and praise Him for He is God alone and there is no other. We should tremble in the fear of The Lord and not concern ourselves with a momentary happiness. It is fleeting, but the joy of The Lord is lasting.
Jesus told us not to be ignorant of the signs. We can read the sky and know rain is coming but we don’t read the Word and see what He has to say. There are so many women who need a friend, and I can rise to that calling. I have not lost this dear friend, but simply the season in which I experienced the greatest laughter and fun and pain and the miraculous. Yes, I mourn the loss, yes it will never be the same. But as each harvest varies so does each season of life. I may lick my wounds for a little longer, cry for a few more months and keep hidden from others, but I do feel the call of God to get out and plant and water and allow for more women to be a part of my life.
ponytail and boots 
